by Derneeka Cruse, MBA, founder of You, In Bloom
We are taught many things as children. What our parents believe is what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to do it is the foundation of our upbringing. Don’t do this, talk like that, dress like this, don't think that; and the list goes on. We are taught how to be everything but who we are and stripped of our authentic selves, leaving us with masks we didn't even ask for as by the time we are adults.
"The search for truth is a search for identity, that in finding truth, we find ourselves" - Nell Sutton
I was in my late twenties when I realized something just wasn't right with my life. I built a successful career in a field where I was solely motivated by money making six figures, was traveling the world, a home owner and was giving my daughter everything I thought my parents gave me and then some. Life looked grand. I had everything I wanted except the one thing I wanted, LOVE.
I found myself in a psychiatrists office trying to figure out what was wrong with me. How could I have so much and still not be happy. I must have some kind of psychological disorder. That would explain my unhappiness and depression, give me some meds! Make the pain go away. Make me feel better. Sadly enough, more than one psychiatrist fed into my insanity and provided me with exactly what I was asking for. I went from one doctor to another, started reading books on psychology, even started to obtain formal education in the field of psychology to try to understand WHY I had it all and felt so miserable and HOW to find LOVE!
This went on for a couple of years, and I left a lot of efforts and extreme measures I look out of! I was thirty one when I hit a dead end and was exhausted of external options to fix this problem I believed I had. Then one day, I was reading a book that suggested I do something simple, look in the mirror. No more looking outside, no more pointing fingers. Look in the mirror. It was time to see what was behind the amazing work of art I created for the world to see. It was time to take off the mask.
"You are not a problem to be fixed" - Unknown
THAT WAS IT! Once I took off the mask I was able to see that everything I was searching for I already had it within me. I just couldn't see it because I had so many layers of denial, guilt and fear covering all the LOVE that was within me. It wasn't pretty, and I didn't like it. I wanted to run from it. I wasn't the person I thought I was or that everyone thought I was. There was work to do, but this work was different. It didn't involve anyone else or have to do with any doctors, it was all about ME!
I share this story to let you know that you are not alone. You may or may not be able to relate to the part of my journey that i have shared with you, but your journey essentially is the same in that it is a path from fear to love. A path of letting go of who you have been told you are and taught to be and coming into who you truly are, your truth and experiencing the joy of the love you have within you.
Since I discovered the mirror, meditation and daily spiritual practices that put me face to face with myself have been my life line. I have had to dig up issues that stemmed back to childhood, look them in the face, accept them, forgive myself and others and let them go. You can do the same. The next five steps are the foundation of my journey, I share them with you as a jump start to your search for truth.
- Remove Your Mask and Share Your World with Others
There are many resources and groups available for you to receive support. You can search online or within your community to find them. There is comfort in knowing you are not alone and being able to share your story in a safe, nonjudgmental environment.
- Identify Present Pain and Trace it Back to Your Core Wound
Start with where you are today and work backwards. Many of the problems you have today actually have nothing to do with the people and situations today, rather childhood or past traumas. Look beneath the surface of what is happening in your life right now to the truth of your issues.
- Understand What Self-betrayal is and Why It Must Come To an End
As you begin to peel back the layers you will see how you have betrayed yourself and given your power away to please others in return for love and approval. This must end. The denial stops here.
- Step into Your Power and Purpose
Make the conscious decision to stop betraying yourself and shift your inner beauty to the surface.
- Once You Become Real, Real Happiness is Possible
Do you remember the tagline of The Real World on MTV. “This is the true story of seven strangers picked to live in a house, work together and have their lives taped to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real!” This is when you enter the real world!
If you would like to learn more about coming into your truth I offer a free complimentary 30 minute consultation on my website www.YouInBloom.com. Sending you love and light. Namaste